Days of Yore Anew

I finally had an opp to catch up with an old friend last night. That doesn't happen often as I've previously indicated. Anyways, Clancy and i caught up with each other's lives for the first time in years. It's nice to talk to someone that is in a similar place in their life socially. Plus it's quality to be able to carry on a good conversation with a friend that i've known for so long. All in all nice to talk to some one form the olden days that seem so distant and long ago.

I had an awful week of anxiety and stress last week, and I'm still recovering. I wish I could take a break and remember that I enjoy living...but progression... I feel abit adrift and worried about another year of being arrested in some purgatory while I pursue my choice in careers. I'm not giving up and for that I may have to stay in some faded silhouette of a reality. If nothing else, I'm changing my location next year. There's nothing for me in this suburb of nothing. If not for school I would hate my existence here.

Clancy asked me where I see myself in ten years (as he will be in Peru as part of a mission team, the only single member, giving him more opportunity to be with the locals, no kids). This allowed me to go off on my rural v. urban self. I love the bustle and activity of the city. It seems to be some constancy of events that begs to be tapped into. But the rural life is all of that quality, old-fashioned hard work that seems so fulfilling. I would love to have a ranch someday...and I would love to live in the middle of the city with the life and arts that I so adore. My trips seem to be between the two. This whole duality of self is tough to figure out. Only in life and experience will my eventual reality be expunged.

There are things that I want to do in the next couple of weeks while I have time...must accomplish things and find time for some fun...happiness is fleeting but still a worthy experience to pursue. And I'm in the need for some happiness.